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eReel Presents... |
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Through trial and error one might whittle down all the nasty nasties about the this-es and thats of life. Poppycock I say, just good old fashioned poppycock. I know what life is, I’ve seen it on TV, and I don’t like it. I consider myself to be in a constant and undeniably futile state of self-improvement. I’m working towards the goal of bettering myself so that I can fuel my ego and mild superiority complex. I don’t go to the gym to get strong, I go to the gym to get better than other people. I’ve got this feeling, right? This feeling that says to me “HEY! MAN! Guess what? You’re better than that guy over there because blah blah!” and doing the things I do justifies that. I know that no one is perfect, myself least of all... well, not least of all, there’s still the creepy guy with the rat-tail I saw yesterday, I’m way better off than he is. Also, the guy with the mustache I saw at the strip club... just a little creeped by him. Oh, and the fat kid I saw at the mall, he’s got time to improve, but I’d bet my last dollar and the straps of my boots that he isn’t getting any skinnier in the new millennium. Ego, pride, and embattled sloth, these are a few of my most prominent qualities. Can you still love me? I think so.
I consider myself to be something of an anachronism, I can’t be certain, but I have a feeling I’d have been much happier in ancient Rome or one of the other empires of antiquity that concerned itself with the conquest of other folk, lavish lifestyles and orgies in country villas. I like grapes, and olives. I don’t know, there’s just a certain man quality to swinging a broadsword, there’s a handsome amount of testosterone that leaks into my system every time I contemplate the sinking of a 10 pound sharpened blade into the flesh of my enemies. This has very little to do with penis size, though it is admittedly a factor.
Who am I? Who am I today? I’m a Korean linguist in the Army. I’m going to Iraq, rock. I will kick a POW in the nuts, and encourage my subordinates to do the same. That’s how wars are won. Refer to my first paragraph, this is just one of those nasty nasties that the BAD Iraqis have to learn, and if they can learn it by having my foot planted in their crotch then so be it, there will be a good many Iraqis getting the clacker-ball treatment. I can think of a few Americans I’d like to give that to as well. I’m going over there and I’m going to make bank on it, I’m going to come back with six nubile young wives under one arm and eighty barrels of crude under the other. Fuck it, it’s the American dream.
I’m in the Army to get out of the Army. I don’t think I’ve ever addressed why I joined the Army on the site, and I guess I should. I joined the Army because I believe in serving your country, or at the very least making a contribution to society before you take from it. I didn’t want to got to college on federal grants and scholarships while I sat around smoking pot and criticizing the government. How wrong I was, it’s what I do now, except that I don’t get the luxury of smoking pot. I’m not going to say that I plan to smoke pot when I get out, but sweet Jesus the Army makes it so desirable. I may also run an illegal absinthe still, I think that’s one drink that America has gone too long without. An alcohol so potent it allegedly caused insanity, ha! I win.
Currently, seeing no one, and everyone all at once. How so you ask? Because that’s cryptic and I had to spice it all up some how. If you follow the site at all then you know that Erin and I broke up last May and I continued the trend until January. Why? Feelings will do that sort of shit to you, to that I take a drink and toast the rising of new celestial bodies and say “Oh fucking well.” and move on. I closed down her site for my own good, I may as well have stuck my thumb up her butt for the reaction I got.
So ladies, if you’re looking for a handsome writer/web designer/wardrobe afficionado described by his ex-girlfriend as a Nazi comparable to Hitler himself then ummm... go look for one in real life because the internet is no place to meet a man. Unless your hot, then send me your nudes.
Here is my philosophy on life in a nutshell. Give me attention before I have to pander for it, you don’t want to see me pander. I am no mutant.
My goals in life are this; I want to publish a book before I get out of the Army, but before that I have to survive a tour in Iraq, and after that I have to get out of the Army and use all my fat ass US bills to pay for college, preferably abroad so they can’t track me down to reactivate me. Fuck that.
Love you guys, all three of you who read me. And should one of you send me your nude, ahem, if you’re HOT, because I am shallow, then I will gladly return the favor by sending you nudes... of someone else. Maybe Erin. Kidding, you just send me yours.
MY CONTACT INFO
AIM: "Renaissance Oz"
MSN: "Ozrael@yahoo.com"
ICQ: "24576165"
email: ozrael@chettz.net
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